I once had a college professor who said, "If all the stupidity in the country could be put in little boxes and sold for a nickel each, we could greatly reduce the national debt."  This season read carefully the warning labels on various products.  You will see what he meant.  Here are a few examples:

On a Sears hairdryer:  "Do not use while sleeping."

    (Wow, that is the only time I have to do my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:  "You could be a winner!  No purchase necessary.  Details inside."

    (Evidently, the shoplifter special)

On a bar of Dial soap:  "Directions:  Use like regular soap."

     (And that would be how?)

On some Swanson frozen dinners:  "Serving suggestions: Defrost."    

      (Just a suggestion?)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on the bottom of the box) "Do not turn upside down."

     (Oops, too late now!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:  "Product will be hot after heating."

     (As night follows day…)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:  "Do not iron clothes on body."

     (But wouldn't this save time?)

On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:  "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."

     (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with             head-colds off those forklifts!)

On Nytol Sleep Aid:  "Warning:  May cause drowsiness."

     (One would hope)

On most brands of Christmas lights:  "For indoor or outdoor use only."

     (As opposed to what?)

On Sainsbury's Peanuts:  "Warning: Contains nuts."

     (Ah, news flash!)

On a child's Superman costume:  "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

     (I don't blame the company.  I blame the parents!)

On a bottle of Palmolive Dishwashing liquid:  "Do not use on food."

     (Hey, Mom we're out of syrup!  It's OK honey, just grab the Palmolive.)

On a tube of Crest Toothpaste:  "If swallowed contact poison control."

     (Oh, please, have you ever heard of someone dying from swallowing a little toothpaste?)

On a bottle of ALL laundry detergent:  "Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine."

     (Hey, no more swimming in the washing machine kids.)

Don't forget – "A feast is made for laughter" (Ecclesiastes 10:19).

From the internet